Lost and Found (Twist of Fate, Book 1) Read online

  He looked around in a daze. “Is it storming? God, were we going at it that long?”

  I let out a laugh. “Not really. Thunderstorms come in fast and leave just as quickly out here. We just need to hunker down until it passes.”

  Once we got our rain gear on and our packs covered in Bennett’s tarp, we used my tarp to huddle under together while the storm blew across our area. We sat so we could look out over the pass in front of us and watch the dark clouds pass overhead.

  As the air cooled around us from the rainstorm, I could feel the heat of Bennett’s body against my side. We’d been sitting for a few minutes in easy silence, but I was curious about how he was feeling after we’d had sex. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to ask him about it. Hell, I wasn’t sure if I was actually brave enough to ask him about it.

  A hand reached out for mine, and I felt Bennett’s long fingers thread through mine.

  “You okay?” he asked me softly. “You’re being awfully quiet over there.”

  I squeezed his hand and leaned over to brush a kiss across his jaw. “Yeah. I’m okay. More than okay, really.”

  He quirked a brow at me, but didn’t ask me to elaborate. I felt I owed it to him to tell him exactly how I was feeling after the hell I’d put him through this past week and even this morning.

  “I’m really happy we’re here together,” I admitted. “It’s… it’s something I never even let myself dream about, you know? Sharing this with you.” I nodded to all that was around us— the trees above us, the expanse of loose rock leading to the pass in front of us, and the peaks beyond.

  He leaned his head on my shoulder and let out a breath. “Yeah. I know. It’s kind of surreal.”

  There wasn’t anything else that needed to be said in that moment. We just let the sounds of the storm surround us and the feel of each other’s bodies sustain us.

  It was everything I’d ever wanted.

  And yet I knew it could never last.

  Chapter 26

  Bennett

  I must have dozed off on Xander’s shoulder to the sounds of the low grumble of thunder and the steady patter of the rain on the plastic tarp above us, because I awoke to the feel of Xander’s rough palm stroking my cheek.

  “Bennett, wake up. We need to get going,” he said in a soft voice. “The rain stopped.”

  I opened my eyes and saw rays of sunlight breaking through the clouds over the mountains. Rain drops still fell intermittently on the tarp Xander held around us, and I noticed the ground around us hadn’t gotten too wet.

  “How long was I out?” I asked, lifting my head from his shoulder and stretching. “What time is it?”

  “You were only asleep for about twenty minutes. It’s three o’clock. We only have about four hours of hiking ahead of us before we get to where Jake and Jimmy are.”

  We stood up and shook off the tarps before folding them up and strapping them to the outside of our packs. We’d sent as many of our non-essential supplies back with Aiden and the group as we could, since we’d need to divvy up Jake’s stuff for the hike out. We were left with essentials like food, a first aid kit, sleeping bags, bad weather gear, and one tent. We’d left behind extra clothes, my tent, and most of the climbing gear Xander had been carrying.

  Packing lighter meant we were able to move faster. As we escaped the drippy canopy of the trees, we worked to ascend the pass as quickly as we could, but it was slow going. The rain had softened the earth enough that it was difficult to get traction, so, it took even longer when we began our descent down the other side. Before we made it back down into the tree line on the far side of what Xander had called Doser Pass, he stopped me to point out a few landmarks.

  “See that kind of rounded lump in front of the jagged peak behind it?” Xander asked, pointing with an outstretched arm.

  “Yeah?”

  “Jake and Jimmy are in a protected area on the close side of that lump. That’s Lower Bower.”

  I glanced at my watch. Darkness would be falling within a couple of hours. “Can we still make it to them today?”

  “No, probably not. Hiking after nightfall is dangerous.”

  “We can’t leave them for another night, Xander.” Fear curled in my belly for Jimmy.

  Xander’s face softened and he brought a hand up to grip the back of my neck. “They’re safe, Benny. Jake will know the weather probably slowed us down and once we make camp, we can radio him and Gary to let them know what’s going on. Jake had enough provisions for at least a few days and he’s great with kids— Jimmy is probably having the time of his life. When we radio Jake, I’ll make sure you get a chance to talk to Jimmy, okay?”

  I nodded. “I trust you,” I said softly. “If you say they’re safe, then I know they are.”

  My answer seemed to satisfy him.

  “Let’s go for another hour and then we’ll make camp and radio Jake and Gary. Then we can make my specialty pasta dish and snuggle together in our tent for the rest of the night. Okay?”

  The thought of enjoying a hot meal after confirming that Jimmy was safe was enough to get my legs moving again. And I spent the next hour of our trek daydreaming about getting my hands on Xander again once we were alone in the tent.

  “Usually you’re the chatty one,” Xander said from behind me at one point. We were passing across the far side of a plateau area full of scattered boulders, and I was struck by how different it looked from anyplace I’d ever been. I caught myself wishing Lucky and the other boys had been there to see it.

  “Sorry. I was just thinking about what you said about sharing a tent tonight,” I admitted, smiling to myself.

  “Oh yeah? Did you have some thoughts about that, or were you trying to figure out how to get out of it? I promise I don’t fart as much as Bear.”

  I snorted. “Are you trying to sell me on what a good tent-mate you are? As if we haven’t shared a tent a thousand times before? Hell, for that matter, we’ve even shared a sleeping bag a million times before,” I reminded him, making my way through the sparse damp grass of the plateau. “I’d be happy to share one again. Of course I would. Only this time, can we be naked? I’d like to try it that way for once. Naked sleeping bag sharing. I think we should make it a thing. Don’t you? I could get used to that.”

  I kept walking for a few beats before I realized he hadn’t responded.

  I stopped and turned around to see why he’d gone quiet. Xander stood still and stared at me with his head cocked. My nerves kicked into gear and I wondered if I’d said something wrong.

  “Xander? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

  “Shh,” he said quickly. “Do you hear that?”

  I stopped to listen and realized there was a loud sound of water rushing nearby. “Is it a waterfall or something?” I asked.

  “That’s the river we’re supposed to cross. But it sounds really high and fast. C’mon. There’s a spot we can scout it from up here before we go down the plateau and lose sight of the best place to cross.”

  I followed him for a few more minutes until we got to the edge of the plateau. Down below, in a canyon of sorts, was the river. Water gushed over rocks and across downed tree trunks, and I looked upriver to see if I could find out where the sheer volume of water was coming from. There was a waterfall feeding it, but it was way off in the distance. I wondered if the storm could have created enough water to make the river that full.

  Without realizing it, I’d snuck my hand into Xander’s and linked my fingers with his.

  “How’re we going to get across?” I asked, nerves snaking in my gut.

  He shook his head. “We might have to wait until the water dies down a little. It’s too dangerous to try right now.”

  “There has to be a way to get across. What about that rope system you told me about? The Tyrolean something.”

  “Tyrolean Traverse. One of us has to be able to get across to set up the anchor on the far side,” he explained.

  “Well, shit. If you can do that, we might as wel
l both get across without all the bother,” I muttered, trying to look up and down the river to see any slower spots or wider areas where the water would be much shallower. “Wait… right there,” I said, pointing to an area where several large boulders crossed the width of the river.

  Xander followed my gaze until he spotted the area. He pursed his lips and furrowed his brow. “Maybe…”

  “Let’s go check it out, at least. We won’t know how it really looks till we get there.”

  I began to walk toward the edge of the plateau in the direction of that spot on the river, but Xander reached out and grabbed my pack to stop me.

  “Hold on there, hotshot. Let me call Gary first and check in, okay? While we’re still high up, it’ll be easier for the radio to reach him. We’ll call Jake afterwards.”

  I blew out a breath and nodded. Once I heard Jimmy’s voice, maybe I could stop worrying so much. Yeah, right— as if I would stop worrying about one of the boys in my care.

  While Xander tried to raise Gary on the radio, I dropped my pack and wandered off to take a leak. When I returned, Xander was finishing up the call.

  “What’d he say?” I asked.

  “He talked to Jake, and he and Jimmy are fine, but apparently there’s a giant storm coming this way. This afternoon’s shower was just the front of it. Gary said we should try and get to them before it hits so we can all be together in that lower altitude. The storm won’t be as dangerous down there where they are, and we might still be able to hike out even if it’s raining. But if we don’t get down in altitude, we could get stuck.”

  I knew he didn’t like the idea of hiking through the darkness, but it was clear we no longer had a choice. “Okay, well, I guess we should get moving.” Without waiting for a response, I began walking down the side of the plateau and into the trees in the direction of the portion of the river we’d pinpointed. By the time we arrived at the side of the river, the sky had darkened again with more storm clouds.

  “I don’t like this,” Xander said as we stood and assessed the boulder crossing. “The rocks are wet and slippery. All it would take is one slip.”

  I knew he was right, but I also knew we needed to get to Lower Bower before the storm hit.

  “Xander, it’s only going to get worse according to Gary, so unless you have a different plan, we need to do this.”

  “Okay. But you have to listen to me, Bennett,” he said. Worry lines creased his forehead, and I wanted to reach out and smooth them. But I kept my hands to myself and gave him what I knew he needed— my full attention.

  “I’ll go first,” Xander began. “The most dangerous part of a river crossing is drowning, obviously, and your backpack can make it ten times worse. So, make sure your waist belt is unclipped. If anything goes wrong, Bennett, let the pack go. Do you hear me? Nothing in that bag is worth dying for.”

  His gaze was intense and I could tell he was worried about me. “Ok. I promise,” I said, unclipping the belt and feeling the weight of the pack rest down on my shoulders. “What else?”

  “Remember what I taught the kids about rock climbing. Your hands and your feet are like four table legs— use them wisely to keep your table upright. The most stable way to travel is by having three of the four legs anchored while you move the fourth. Go slowly and take your time.”

  The sun came out between a break in the clouds and shone down on the river in front of us, making the water sparkle and everything around us look less scary. I looked up at Xander with a smile.

  “I think that’s a sign. Let’s do this. First one across gets to give the other one a blow—”

  “Benny—” he growled.

  “I’m kidding. But I think we should get this show on the road, don’t you?”

  I could tell he still wasn’t happy about it, but it wasn’t like we had much of a choice. Xander unhooked his waist belt and began to step onto the first boulder. He bent his knees and stayed low, keeping his center of gravity down and taking time to scope out the next boulder. Once he made the step onto the next one, I stepped carefully onto the spot he’d vacated.

  We continued that way, carefully picking the most stable path across the wet rocks we could and trying to avoid extra slick spots where the rocks had built up a level of slippery moss. It was slow-going. Xander had been right when he’d said that our backpacks would cause the most problems. Without the waist belt fastened, the pack shifted more than I expected, throwing off my balance when I moved suddenly or wasn’t careful. I knew that what he’d tried to warn me about was true— river crossings were way dicier than they looked.

  As the sun hid behind another cloud, the bright light disappeared, leaving everything looking flat and the same. Picking out slippery spots on the rocks wasn’t as easy in the dim light, and I reminded myself to take it slowly.

  Xander was almost to the other side when he stopped and turned around. He called something out across the sound of the rushing water, but I couldn’t hear him over the roar. I shook my head and pointed to my ear. He flashed me the okay symbol with a questioning glance on his face.

  Just as I began to throw him back some sign language shade, I saw a massive cluster of huge branches and downed tree trunks break off from where they’d been lodged between a large boulder and the riverbank upstream from us. The debris rushed toward Xander, and I turned my head to warn him.

  My mouth opened to scream, but all I heard was the raging river. Before Xander could turn all the way around to see the debris coming at him, I knew it would be too late— the logs and branches would be on him, knocking him into the river and pushing him under. I couldn’t even fathom it. I had to get him across to the other side before it could happen.

  So, I dropped my pack and lunged.

  Chapter 27

  Xander

  It was true what people said about traumatic events happening in slow motion. One minute Bennett was moving his fingers through some sign language, and the next his face had gone deathly pale and he was screaming for me to jump across the final rock to the riverbank.

  I turned to see what he was trying to warn me about and saw an enormous log heading right for me. Just as I crouched down to get momentum in a jump, something landed against me, launching me forward onto the wet ground of the bank. I landed hard on one shoulder and would have rolled if my pack hadn’t run into something and stopped me short. I was left lying on my side just in time to see a flash of familiar blue go into the water. Bennett’s shirt.

  My Bennett. In the raging river.

  I scrambled out of my pack, screaming, as time sped up. Luckily, I remembered to grab the coil of rope I’d clipped to the outside of my pack for this very reason before I started running downstream.

  “BENNY!” I screamed. “Let go of your pack!” I didn’t know if he still had his pack on or not. I just knew if he did, he was a dead man. I ran down the river bank as fast as I could, catching glimpses of Bennett as he fought to stay above water. His arm was caught in a tangle of small branches and I knew if he didn’t get free of them, they could catch on a rock and pull him under.

  “BENNY!” I screamed again, only this time it was more of a sob as I saw him go under. No, no no no. I had to get to him. To pull him out before he hit his head on a rock and got knocked out or was pinned against a boulder and forced under the water forever.

  “Benny, I’m coming,” I cried through tears and nausea as I stumbled to unlace my boots and throw them behind me. I saw him reach up again and try to grab hold of the branches he was tangled in as if they were a flotation device instead of one of the worst hazards in the river with him.

  “Let go of the branches!” I yelled. I got ahead of him down the river a few yards and threw the rope across the expanse of the water.

  “Grab the rope!” I shouted. He must have heard me because he scrambled to get to the brightly-colored rope, but it slipped through his grasp. I quickly coiled it as I ran down farther to try again.

  “Benny,” I sobbed again, losing hope. I considered ju
st throwing myself into the river after him, in hopes we’d end up near each other somehow and I could pull him to safety, but every water rescue course I’d ever done was screaming at me to do the right thing— to give him the best chance possible by following the rules.

  I threw the rope across again, trying my hardest to place it perfectly so he couldn’t help but grab it. This time it was in the right spot and he grabbed onto it, using it to help him get his legs under him so he could push toward the side of the river. I quickly ran the rope around a nearby tree to help me get leverage and shouted encouragement as he got closer.

  “That’s it, baby,” I called out. “You’re doing it. Come on, come to me. You got this. Just a little bit more.”

  I could tell it was taking every ounce of his energy to make it to the river bank. The water was snowmelt from the alpine peaks, and I knew we had precious little time before hypothermia would drain what little energy he had left. He was already white as a sheet and completely waterlogged, and I sent up a prayer for him to just hang in there a little longer.

  He stopped pulling and looked at me, and I knew in that moment he didn’t have enough energy left to keep going.

  “I can’t,” he mumbled. I couldn’t hear the words as much as read his lips.

  “I know you’re tired, baby, but just a little more. Please.”

  The current knocked him sideways and his head went under. He was struggling so hard to keep a hold of the rope, but when he popped back up, I could see his hands slipping. He looked at me with the most heartbreaking expression of apology.

  “No!” I screamed through my own tears. “Don’t you fucking dare! Hold that rope. Hold it Bennett Crawford, goddammit, do you hear me?”

  I knotted the rope where it was and ran after him, knowing I had seconds before the current would rip the rope out of his hands, and I’d lose him forever. It was my only shot. If I couldn’t get to him in time, I might as well throw myself in the river and go with him.

  Because a life without him in it was a life I was no longer interested in living.